For Mental Health Awareness month, we caught up with Dr. Jeshana Johnson, one of our Mental Health advisors (and obviously, experts) for a quick Q&A. Read below for Dr. Jeshana's thoughts on rest, her own rituals, and why hydrangeas are her flower of choice. 🌸

What is your role at selfmade and/or area of expertise?

I'm a Licensed Clinical Psychologist specializing in intimacy and sex therapy. I serve as a Mental Health expert and consultant for selfmade. I truly enjoy discussing psychological concepts and seeing how they come to life through the selfmade product line.

What is a habit or ritual that you practice to implement self-care into your daily life?

I start my day with intentions, such as "I will not rush today". I do deep breathing in the morning and before bed.

I am intentional about taking breaks throughout the day and living a sensual life (through my five senses) — i.e. enjoying my food without distractions (TV, phone, etc.).

What is your favorite flower or plant, and why?

Hydrangeas are my favorite flower. They resemble cheerleading pom poms and different colors represent different emotions. Pink hydrangeas represent heartfelt emotion.

When I purchase them and put them in my kitchen, I'm reminded to "cheer myself on" (pom pom).

How would you describe therapy to someone who’s never experienced it before?

Therapy is like an emotional massage — getting all the emotional knots out. Sometimes it feels good, and other times it can feel deep and painful but necessary. It includes looking at the truth, which ultimately makes us self-confront and change. Depending on the client's goals, it can also include doing bottom up or top down treatment.

Bottom up treatment can look like helping clients cope with their raw emotions and defense reactions through EMDR, Yoga, etc. Top down treamant is more like helping clients think differently.

Both are necessary as they have limitations when used alone.

Rest is allowing our minds and bodies to recover (it's in parasympathetic mode). Rest is not to be confused with sleep. Sleep can be restful but for me, sleep is sleep and rest is rest. It looks different to everyone. For me, rest is restorative yoga, reading a novel, binge watching a show, getting a massage.

Healing is correcting the past. It's taking the best care of yourself without guilt and knowing you deserve to. Healing is exercising boundaries in relationships. It's ongoing. It's becoming the person you 

Meet the Experts: Dr. Jeshana Johnson, PHD

 host Ally Phan to share how growing up Asian American shaped their view on mental health, what it means to be self-made, and their best career and life lessons so far.

How Stephanie Lee Went From The White House To Creating a One Of a Kind Emotional Wellness Company

If you’ve been around since the very beginning days of selfmade, you may remember a little corner of the internet we called The CommonRoom. We’re sharing this update in case you wonder where that has gone (spoiler alert - it’ll be back a bit later, better than ever, and with a new name and personality, because EVERYONE loves a glow up).

Real quick though, here’s a refresher. Because selfmade is about so much more than oils and serums for your face and body, out of the gates, we paired our personal care products with education around the mental health concepts they’re named after. This came in the form CommonRoom “chapters” (on Attachment Styles, Resilience, and Intimacy - odes to our 

. The CommonRoom was a progressive web app, where members of our Beta community could walk through 21-days of content (think journal prompts, meditations, movement activities) in each chapter, encouraging self-exploration and an expansion of emotional vocabulary.

We put the CommonRoom out into the world as a teeny-tiny brand to see what you all thought, and we HEARD what you loved and what you didn’t, what you wanted more of and what you could have done without. So now what?

Building a company is kind of like building a house. Although the beginning stages (pouring the foundation, framing the walls, mapping out plumbing) are like WAY!! SO!! VERY!! important, even after those parts are done, what you are left with neither looks like an actual house nor feels like a habitable home.That’s kind of where we are with the CommonRoom. So much big stuff has been set in place, and now it’s time to make it look and feel like a place where our friends & community will want to spend some seriously amazing time.

During our early Beta testing, we got to hear what nearly 400 of you thought of and wanted from the experience. We took that all into account, regrouped on strategy and goals, AND even got the opportunity to work with one of the foremost digital design studios in the world (little ole’ us!) to roadmap the next phase of the (soon to be renamed) CommonRoom. There’s so much exciting stuff ahead here, we can hardly contain ourselves

So for those of you who helped us build the foundation and figure out some of our plumbing issues -- THANK YOU! We can’t wait to invite you back to our home, which will one day (soon, but not super soon) be a place full of beauty, comfort, shelter, delish snacks, deep chats, and warm hugs.

What Happened to the CommonRoom?

I've always been a creative being. From a young age, I was constantly in my own magical world and I really felt that anything I could think of could be created. It was a great place to be and to not yet feel the imposed societal limitations.

My mom was a single parent of three, who celebrated my artistic personality and taught me how to be creative with what we had, even if it wasn’t a lot. She also instilled in us that we are all of the same value and should be treated that way and that every one of us has a story, has had different experiences and that everyone of us deserves to be seen and celebrated. These lessons follow me in all spaces and in my work.

Years ago my path evolved into visual storytelling as a documentary filmmaker and director.  It felt like a coming home, like the place where I could explore and collaborate and help share authentic stories of others who's voices and stories, like mine, have been told by others for too long.

This has been a deeply fulfilling path, but for someone who feels deeply, it can be energetically heavy when exchanging and connecting with others so deeply. This is something I had to face and really learn to shift this and not exhaust myself in an already exhausting world for BIPOC. I wanted to rewrite my story to be one where I thrive, feel abundant and full so that I could bring that energy consistently to others.

What changed? I found Reiki, but really I believe Reiki found me. It kept coming up in conversations, articles, books, it was everywhere and I couldn’t ignore it. For those of you that don’t know, Reiki is a form of hands-on energy healing where a “universal energy” is transferred through the palms of the practitioner to the patient in order to encourage emotional or physical healing. I realized after becoming a practitioner I had been practicing Reiki most of my life even as early as a child, it was instinctual. I learned to really listen to myself, I realized it was always there, I just had to be still and open. I learned that the loving and patient way I showed up for others as a collaborative storyteller had to mirror how I needed to show up for myself. When I got that, a real change was made. I found balance and saw that creating art and healing naturally went together. That my work was heart centered and diving deeper into me gives me the opportunity to deepen my approach to storytelling. There was no moment that I felt that I had to choose, for me both areas expanded each other, that I could be who I wanted to be and the most important thing was that I was showing up for myself, fully.

Take the time to rewrite and reclaim your narrative — this is your story. Putting yourself first and taking care of you is the most important thing and we must find space to do it. As BIPOC womxn, we have given so much and have had so much taken from us. We must create these needed boundaries, reclaim our space, replenish unapologetically and come back to ourselves.

Finding Balance and Creating Expansion

This brand isn’t anything without...well 

but also our mental health experts. When selfmade was just a big idea in my head, I spoke to more than 20 mental health practitioners to see what they thought about this new approach to completely re-thinking mental health tools and resources. Because honestly, what’s the point of making another skincare product if it doesn’t 

, Ph.D. is one of our incredible advisors who we work with ~intimately~ on...you guessed it! Intimacy. Everything she believes in (and her speciatly as a professional) lines up perfectly with our ethos of re-envisioning what a “self-made” person really is, and we wouldn't have been able to develop Self Disclosure, our intimacy serum created to encourage self-exploration both inside and out, without her expertise. 

I knew I had to have her join selfmade because of who she is, and her commitment to communities of color. Sidenote: she even travels to Ghana to teach mental and sexual wellness in villages! Basically, she’s not your typical PhD’er that sits behind some desk in an ivory tower at some university. Her perspective is shaped by her specific lived experiences as a Black woman, a teen mother raising a daughter, and the so many other complex parts of her humanself.

Dr. Johnson specializes in trauma, sex, couples & relationship therapy, and she uses trauma-informed and culturally meaningful Systems-Based Therapy to help process and metabolize unhealed wounds. Her practice focuses on enhancing emotional, physical, and sexual closeness by increasing our capacity for intimacy and passion. At selfmade, she has helps us connect 

 psychological concepts to our products to bring the action of authentic self-care and exploration into our daily lives. Not to mention, she 

 makes appearances on the Los Angeles radio to speak about intimacy and sexuality in the Black community. Her work is something to be celebrated — so we're celebrating her here by featuring a guided self-love massage, guided by, well...you know who. 

Enjoy Dr. Jeshana's soothing, embracing voice as she takes you through this stomach massage meditation. Warm up with Self Disclosure or your favorite body oil. It's truly a treat.

Self-love Massage with Dr. Jeshana Avent-Johnson

Here are the things I’ve figured out. One: hydration will do more for you than anything else. Two: realizing things in hindsight is like being smacked square in the nose with a wrecking ball. Three: if you forget how to have fun, you’re barely alive at all. Four: there is usually at least some merit to a dumb idea. 

Here’s one of mine. An art project, a way to fill an hour. A doorway to a laugh. A ‘boob-quet.’ A bouquet of breasts. Shocking, I know. Bizarre, I’m aware. You want to try it, don’t you? 

You’ll need paint (make sure it’s skin-friendly and non-toxic), paper or canvas, and a paint brush (make sure it’s soft). 

Here’s a recipe for self-love and laughter.

Step One: Brew a cup of tea. Use a pretty cup, something that makes you feel like a character in a Victorian novel. Sip it like you’rea VIP guest attending a garden party (this is important to set the mood).

Step Two: Gather your paint, in colors that make you smile. Emerald green or gold, hotpink or sunshine yellow—as long as you love it. 

Step Three: Put on music you can sing to and grab a mirror and your supplies. 

Step Four: Whip off your shirt, do a shimmy, and pick a color. Paint your nipples and remember that you’re fabulous, press the paper to them and make yourself into flowers or stars or constellations. Repeat and rinse.

Step Five: Paint stems or galaxies or smiles around the impressions you created. Hang it up on the wall, and remember that you are art, that you are a magnificent, glorious thing. And now, you have a painting to prove it.

Embracing the Gardens of You: A Recipe for Self-Love and Laughter

At the beginning of each year, after the ball drops, we receive a lot of the “New Year, New You” messaging, encouraging us to wipe our slates clean. But, when we look at creating 

 healthy habits, it’s necessary to embrace the “past you” and what you’re all about in order to create new baby steps for change. As humans, we love to create micro-habits that help us grow our emotional selves — whether it’s making more time for self-reflection, or exercising self-awareness in action.

Those micro-habits — done in repetition — make up our daily routines. They ground us in our days and give us structure and comfort in the face of uncertainty. They gives us agency, and the ability to step into control, no matter how small that step may be. Going even deeper, in order to be emotionally available to ourselves in these moments, well, that requires two things: intention and resilience. And that my friends, will help you create your most cherished rituals that celebrate you.

Okay maybe we’re getting ahead of ourselves here. Why do we even care about rituals as an extension of routines? Well we can’t fully take care of ourselves unless we recognize the intersection of physical, mental, and emotional health elements that makes us 100% human being. And in these micro-moments when we are meeting our own needs, we are empowered. So what happens when we want to turn a routine into a ritual?

This powerful loop-de-loop is where our physical sensations, thought patterns, and overall understanding of what our feelings mean intersect. These habits, aka repeated actions, can become second nature in our daily lives. Whether we like it or not, habits can quickly become thoughtless and hard to change based on muscle memory. But fear not! There are ways to re-vamp habitual actions — even the ones that are deeply ingrained from years of conditioning. Education, thoughtful reflection, radical honesty, and community care are pillars of support to rely on when aiming to break the habit loop.

Let's explore the four parts of the habit loop rollercoaster:

Triggers your brain to initiate behavior and is a little bit of information that helps anticipate rewards.

You don’t crave the habit itself but you do crave the change in state it produces. Cravings are linked to the desire to change your internal state

Example: You crave connection or at least engagement

It is the actual habit you perform in the form of thoughts or actions. This step mainly depends on your capability of performing it

Example: Scenario 1 - You get on a dating app and swipe

Example: Scenario 2 - You call your friend you haven’t spoken to in two weeks and say you’re feeling lonely

End goal of every habit. We want these rewards because they satisfy us.

Example: Scenario 1 - You get a match! Ding, ding, ding! And feel momentarily happy!

Example: Scenario 2 - They respond with empathy and ask you questions about how they can help. You feel seen.

The easiest way to introduce a new habit is to “stack it” on top of habits that already exist. The key to successful habit stacking has more to do with taking action and less to do with time and place. A favorite example? Imagine your doctor prescribes medicine and instructs you to take it at the same time each day. They say, “don’t forget or something will happen!” So what do you do, you smarty pants? You take the pill each day after you brush your teeth (current habit #1) and before you get into bed (current habit #2). Voila!

Small behavioral modifications can illicit big changes. For example, if you have a goal to exercise more frequently, you might choose to commit to putting on work out clothes as soon as you get home from school. The habit you are building isn’t actually going to the gym or related to working out in general — the habit is putting on your running shoes. Bite size changes in your actions and stacking new habits with the old make it much more likely to avoid feeling overwhelmed by tons of change.

While all habits can be tough to change, habitualized emotional patterns and reactions are some of the toughest to break. Let’s re-intro our friends, resilience and intention, into the picture. Now, not only are you intentionally prepping yourself for a string of actions, but you’re also considering how you want to feel and care for yourself in that moment. And the ritual part is when you explore your relationship to each action, and then each action’s relationship to each other.  At 

, our products are built to seamlessly habit stack your emotional wellbeing and moments of awareness into your current routines to create a brand new kind of ritual.

, you are stacking on the new habit of asking yourself the question on the bottle, “what does loving myself look like in action?” And right there at your vanity, you’re showing up for yourself morning in and out with self touch and self reflection. Or when you’re in the shower (maybe a less regular habit during the pandemic) with 

, you’re scrubbing the day off and wondering what you would do if you knew you couldn’t fail. When you step out of your steamy self session you’re rewarded with a renewed sense of confidence. That’s pretty cool.

 on your nightstand, you’re sitting in what it feels like when you touch yourself. And some days all of that can feel awesome and fill you up, and other days it can feel challenging when you meet your most honest, tender self.

And that’s okay. It requires resilience and intention to push past the moments of discomfort and vulnerability when you do a ritual for you, and only you.

How To Turn Routines into Rituals

One of the greatest gifts of resilience is who we become and what we discover about ourselves in the process.

The films I selected explore the human condition and remind us that resilience is an evolving gift of self-discovery and self-realization.

This historical documentary reflects on the courage, and bold vision of trailblazer Shirley Chisholm, the first African American U.S. congresswoman and the first Black woman to campaign for the Democratic Party presidential nomination in 1972.

"Her story is an important reminder of the power of a dedicated individual to make a difference." –– Shola Lynch, Director, and co-producer

Moana sets out on a daring mission to save her island, which she has never left. Along the way, she discovers the thing she has always sought: her own identity.

"Sometimes our strengths lie beneath the surface … Far beneath, in some cases." –– Moana


 is a love story that follows two women in the 1950s who develop a socially forbidden bond.

This film explores the consequences of accepting yourself in a society maintained through performance.


When Billi's grandmother is diagnosed with terminal cancer, her family travels to China to say goodbye––but they decide to keep the diagnosis from their beloved matriarch. Billi grapples with the cultural practices of secrecy, and years later, after her grandmother's prognosis of only a few weeks to live, we learn that her grandmother is still alive.

is based on the family secrets of director Lulu Wang, who also plays the main character Billi.

chronicles the bold and uncompromising life of Frida Kahlo as a political artist and sexual revolutionary.

The biopic explores how Frida channeled her physical and emotional pain into her art.

Exploring Resilience Through Film

When I was younger, I used to think that someone was writing the story of my life. I was fascinated with the idea that maybe if I weren’t real, my problems wouldn’t be either. So I made myself believe I was a fictional character, but then I realized that I’m not interesting enough a character to be written about. The author of my life was writing a really boring story.

But what if, like the butterfly effect—with one small change, I could alter my future and change the narrative? Writing became a cathartic escape to explore those untold stories that I hoped to one day live. While I found writing to be a way to express myself, it didn’t actually come as naturally to me, so I weeded out inspiration in others.

T. S. Eliot famously stated: “Good writers borrow, great writers steal.” A motto I kept with me in the back of my head as I continued to search for the right words to say.

Note: I hate clichés with a passion. They’re like dead metaphors that make your writing boring and predictable. More than the act of writing itself, I was obsessed with word play. The ways in which poets and singers create paintings with their words was captivating to me.

In high school, I started collecting quotes and no, not the cliché ones. If I ever came across a line in a book that I really liked, or a quote online that really spoke to me, I always wrote it down. I often refer back to these quotes when I’m feeling lost or stuck in life, or just a little down on myself. It helps to read the comforting words of someone wiser than me. They reassure me about the direction I’m going in life and help me realize that everything isn’t as bad as it may seem in the moment.

With my love for words and quotes came a bashing of self-criticism. I wanted to articulate my thoughts in the best way possible, but constantly overthinking my writing made me feel insecure, like no one would care to hear what I have to say. I hate to admit it, but I wanted validation.

What started as a way of coping with my own realities became an oppressive thought in my subconscious.

In 11th grade, I wrote a six-word memoir which read, “I am a thinker... I’m still thinking.” If you’re unfamiliar with the genre, it’s simply a way of telling your story in just six words. I didn’t know what my story was. As a last-minute attempt because I couldn’t think of anything, I essentially wrote about that—being stuck in my own head.

Then I came across this quote, “You don’t have to wait to speak until you have something profound to say. People connect to humanness.” I held myself back a lot because my words didn’t seem right. My epiphany moment was understanding that it’s not about what you say or how you say it, rather it’s how you’re left feeling.

One of my favorite quotes is, “In the best conversations, you don’t even remember what you talked about, only how it felt.”

Freshman year of college I started journaling regularly as a way of reflecting. Knowing that the words I put onto paper were for my eyes only, made it easier to let go of having to perfect my writing and seek any type of validation.

As I became more comfortable with the thoughts I put down, I started writing poetry. Kind of backwards looking at it now because with poetry, it’s all about word play. But shifting that mindset and emphasizing on the feeling allowed me to be my most creative.

Throughout my time in college, I was involved in my school newspaper and covered a lot of news stories, but journalistic writing is a lot different from creative writing. During my last semester of senior year, I decided to submit a few of my poems to my college’s literary magazine because it was my last chance before graduating so I thought, why not. By no means did I expect to be selected to be featured in the spring issue. I wasn’t looking for validation anymore, I didn’t need the opinions, approval, or recognition of others to know what I said matters and is powerful, not in a cocky way, but from a place of growth in knowing the only validation I needed was from myself. Although I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t overwhelmingly happy when I was selected to be featured for a piece that is so dear to my heart.

I did come to learn in time though that the negative connotation associated with needing validation didn’t have to be negative—in fact, it’s not. My top love language, whether it be with a parent, partner, or friend, is words of affirmation, which doesn’t come as a surprise. I appreciate people who take the time to see me and my work for what it is and provide constructive criticism to better myself and my craft because then I know they are paying attention and care. It’s not fishing for compliments because I have a good ear for detecting BS. I appreciate sincerity and thoughtfulness to truly feel connected.

My journey with writing is one of self-discovery that not only allowed me to escape the realities of my world but also allowed me to see things from a third person perspective by stepping outside of myself. It also allowed me to be okay in accepting and receiving love in the ways I need.

I’ll end with this, make what you will of it.


If your worst enemy lives between your two ears

and the words they speak become the only truth you hear—

burn that house, take its ashes, and pray a light will glow from the flames.

The shadows behind you will always chase you so long as you shine.

It doesn’t do you any good to try and outrun them.

Befriend them instead. Unclench your fists, and release the tension.

Liberate your spirits from the chaos and the air starts to feel lighter.

and the process of getting to where you’re meant to be

The Not-So Clichés of Self-Discovery

My mom was 15 years old when she got in a boat to escape the war in Vietnam. Just a teenager when she was lost at sea, burning under the hot sun and ultimately had her last few precious belongings hijacked by Thai pirates.

When I was 15, I was fighting (I mean.. screaming) with my mom about her strict rules, trying to find a sense of independence.

At 18, my dad was in Saigon and sleeping on the floor of a house down a very small alleyway. Some nights he’d hear the shrapnel from bombs raining down onto the tin roof overhead. He was the only of my grandparent’s sons who  was capable of escaping in the middle of the night, boarding a boat headed anywhere safer than there.

When I was 18, I was choosing a prom dress and trying to get ready for my big move to college and salivating at the idea of freedom.

As children from poor families, and eventually as refugees from war-torn countries, my parents had no choice but to be resilient. They found themselves alone in refugee camps in Malaysia and Korea hoping to make it to the US in hopes of a better future. Without knowing any English and surviving on just $200 from the US government, they found that future. I’m not sure where or how they learned to use their inner strength that allowed them to push past these extraordinary life events to survive. But I know I owe my resilient spirit to them.

It’s a blessing and a curse to see my parents in action. As a result, I will always persevere, and I *know* there is nothing I cannot do if I put my mind to it. But on the flip side, because of their experiences, I inherited my parents’ trauma  -- whether generational, cultural or epigenetic. As a person of color, in my darkest of times I lacked the tools, resources and community to nurture my emotional wellbeing which led me to depressive episodes, feeling plagued with an everyday self-doubt.

And in an Asian culture that holds honor and duty to family in high regard, the fear of failure in society’s eyes was the invisible hand guiding me into a trap. It was the layers of “expected” resilience that suffocated me and my ability to answer, “do I need to feel human?” and show myself real care. Resilience that is foisted upon people of color, demands that we “grin and bear it”. That emotion is a weakness. And as “the model minority myth” dictates, we should just shut up and fade away.

It’s not healthy and I refuse to submit to that anymore.

In my mental health journey, I’ve had to flex my resilience muscle more than ever to serve 

 rather than society. This meant doing therapy, practicing self-reflection and taking an emotional risk to ask my parents to help me write a new definition of resilience for our family. This also involved asking my mom and dad to stretch themselves into uncomfortable territory and join me in therapy sessions. (I was scared shitless.)

And what I found is that their sadness and hurt from their lived experiences aren’t buried deep, they are righhhhht under the surface itching to have an outlet. Like I was, my parents were afraid of those feelings. Their resilience and ability to overcome obstacles time and time again was driven by their pursuit of happiness and their want to provide for their my brothers and me with a full life.. Digging deep required a sense of purpose and passion to continue when things were really hard - that real true grit.

So are we all healed and one happy family? Nope - still doing my trauma work. BUT, with empathy for my parents as humans (not just mom and dad), this is what I’ve got for you about our family definition around resilience: to seek out safe spaces so we can learn to stumble and fall, that it is necessary to tap into vulnerability to ask for what we need, but also know that there is someone who wants to help us get back up and try again.